After You


By: Jenny Hernandez


I tried hard to recall the last of it, where the

lights went from yellow to red and if I even

noticed when the green light changed. I can’t

remember. The last time I saw you, you kissed

me goodbye and said “love you” like it was the

beginning and it’s merely the last I remember

of you. It’s been months and I’ve started to

lose the memory of what you felt like. What

you smelled like, what you even sound like. I

like to recite our old jokes out loud, and

nothing is the same anymore, but what do I

expect during transformation to keep around

the only thing that’s been missing this whole

time? I convinced myself for a while that you

took parts of me I had built all my own to

perfection. The happiness and the confidence,

the funny and the hopeful. I convinced myself

this chapter took a lot from me and that you

ran away with parts of me I can never get back.

To find that while yes, you have parts of me,

you did not have all of me and I've yet to meet

the new me. The one I get to put together

again. The me, I get to learn to love again and

shine new lights from. The me, who can still

love despite a heartbreak like this one. To be

quite honest, some days it’s still hard to

remember that idea of me you seemed to like,

and I wish I was her again for you, but who was

she?

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